Tech School Madness Vol 1.

So,

I grew up in oregon and have lived in the same general area for all my life, those who know me, know me, those who don't I really don't care if you know me at all.

But shortly after graduation I moved to Sacramento to go to tech school. Let me tell you, this is the best example of fish out of water. I went down there solo, having not met my room mate until we started school, not having any idea of where anything was at, and just in general having to deal with situations that I am not used to. I.E. gangs, assaults, and overall general violence and benevolence that one would associate with that of a large city in any state.

All the mean time trying not to get my ass kicked for doing something for lack of a better term "not cool." With that preface being made I would now like to relate one of the funniest stories I have to date of that place.

The school is in more or less an industrial district, which has trucking companies, and a Cummins service shop right across the street, down the road a little ways is the CHP training facility, and down the road a little further than that is a little strip mall type deal with all sorts of fast food stops and a sit down restaurant that one would associate with mechanics, cops, and soon to be mechanics. To be honest whomever owns those facilities is probably making A KILLING taking the money of all of the people that to be honest don't give two shakes about their health. I of course being one of them.

But I digress, many of us used to car pool to a particular subway, it wasn't far but because we are all lazy we decided to drive instead of walk despite the fact that it was within walking distance, and to counteract the stupidity of not just walking we decided that a car-pool would be the best way to "even out" the bad ideas. This particular day, a conversation came up, and I said something stupid. (This is a very common occurance to this day, however I don't try and put my foot in my mouth) But back to the point, I was referred to as a "jerk-off" this is an insult that is thrown around in a non sexual manner, an updated version of "dip-s**t" if you will. But alas the conversation went a different direction standing in line.

On this particular night this place was full of classmates, current cops, and some of the late night guys from cummins, while standing and walking down the line, the particular topic came back up, to be honest over time I have forgotten what I said, but from what I do remember, it was the king of stupid comments. When walking down the line, I then fired back in a very snide manner, and said "yeah I am a HORRIBLE jerk-off" this of course was not in reference to anything other than what was said. But alas, the damage was done and the place got dead silent. If you looked around I'm sure you would have seen the classic "food falling out of mouth" moment that most Hollywood types love to put in scenes. Total shame that I missed it.

Shortly after the silence, the guy making my sandwich just started crying. Well at first I thought he was heartbroken, and that maybe he was hoping I was gay so he could get with me, but after learning of these developments he no longer wanted to. But as usual, I was wrong (another very common theme in my life). The reason he was crying was because he was laughing so hard, shortly after that someone, to be honest I don't remember who, said. "Well then that explains why my wife won't return your phone calls anymore."

Shortly after that the place started rolling with laughter. Was I angry? No. Was I in the least bit upset? Absolutely not, I was just disappointed that I didn't have wit that quick. When everything died down we paid and went on our way, but back in the car, I finally had a comeback. Too bad I never got to use it.

So, I use that experience as an example of many things, but two stick out that need to be shared so others don't make the same mistake I made.
A. Be very careful how you use the term "jerk-off"
B. Never use the term "jerk-off"

-WCNJ